


Les Jusenkyosables

by drcalvin



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types, Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Animal Transformation, Community: makinghugospin, Crack, Crossover, Gen, Jusenkyo Curse, Kink Meme, Paris Era, Ranma 1/2 fusion, Water
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 10:11:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drcalvin/pseuds/drcalvin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The waters of the cursed springs of Jusenkyo have somehow infected Paris! Mayhem, confusion and water-born transformations ensue. It is the night of rebellion and nothing will ever be the same...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Les Jusenkyosables

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [咒泉世界](https://archiveofourown.org/works/947931) by [micorom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/micorom/pseuds/micorom)



> Written for the makinghugospin kink meme, for the Ranma/Les Mis mashup request.
> 
> No Ranma characters appear in this fusion. This is a mix of movie and brick canon. Also utter crack

Nobody ever quite understood what had happened to the water in Paris on that tumultuous night of rebellion. Rumours abounded, about everything from a failed cure for the cholera, to it being the insurgents' desperate try to unsettle the societal contract, or even to the effect being inducted by the authorities, to bloodlessly break the rebellion... Despite many attempts to find out, none ever gained clarity in the issue, and already on the seventh of June, the effects were fading away, leaving no traces for the naturalists to investigate. But though short in durance, the event left long-lasting changes, felt throughout the city.

One of the first to discover what had occured was one Eponine Thenardier. After she had delivered Marius Pontmercy's note to the hands of M Fauchelevent, she walked with heavy heart back to the barricades. On the way, she indulged in a uncommon amount of tearful self-pity. Thus, before she attempted to sneak through the soldiers' blockade, she stopped to wash her face at a public well.

The amount of water was not enough to trigger a transformation at once. However, a short while later, when she was forced to abandon the cover of the low-hanging roofs and balconies to cross a dangerously open place, Eponine was caught by a sudden rainfall.

At first, she though she had been shot – she had heard the echoing bangs of muskets for some time, and now her limbs would not properly obey her, she seemed tangled in her own clothes. Eponine shook her head, and tried to rise, but despite all efforts could not get up from the wet pavement.

Booted footsteps neared. She mewled in distress, huddling beneath the cover of her clothes and praying that the soldiers would hurry past.

To her great surprise, their hands on her were gentle, and one soldier even open his jacket to warm her. Their words sounded unnaturally loud and booming, yet Eponine had no problem understanding them. The content of their speech, however, completely confused her, as did their actions. The soldiers took her, instead of to a jail or even a medic, to one of the taverns they had taken as a base. Here they sat her down on a table with a saucer of milk before her.

It was not until she heard a questioning yowl, and raising her head to meet the unmistakeable cheeky gleam in her brother's eyes, that she recognized the truth of the situation: Not only had Gavroche been turned into a kitten – but so had she.

Among those who transformed immediately upon contact with the cursed water were two revolutionaries. They had acted as doctors to their comrades hurt at the first wave of attacks on the barricades. 

Joly, his shirt stained with blood from a fallen friend, poured a bucket of water over himself and was hit immediately by a vertiginous sensation. He did not shrink like the Thenardier children, instead, to his terror he stumbled forward, his body heavy and clumsy and though to see the floor sink away from him. With a great clatter, his hooves hit against the barrel he had drawn water from, causing the contents to spill out over the entire floor. 

This selfsame water would drip through the floorboards, some of it landing on Feuilly, who was resting on the ground floor. However, that he too had been caught by the curse would not be revealed until the next day when Feuilly went outside in a light drizzle. In comparison to many others, he was not very upset about the change, though he felt a great annoyance that it had caused him to lose his grip on his weapons. They rebels were at the time very low on gunpowder and so the loss of one more gun seemed to weigh heavier on his mind than his cursed state.

While Joly failed to come to term with his new equine state, Combeferre, who had been drinking some water while waiting for his turn to wash, was understandably distracted by the appearance of a horse. 

In his own words, it was less that there was suddenly a stallion in the rooms that shocked him – he had been a friend of Bahorel and witness to his pranks for long enough that such sights were, if not everyday, at least not terrifying – as the fact that it was wearing Joly's cap and cockade, and had large bloodstains upon it's pale legs. Though Combeferre managed by reflex to avoid the water spilling out of the barrel, he lost his grip on the flask he had been drinking from. As soon as the water hit his face, he too transformed, and in an instant, the frightened horse was joined by a very large, and very confused, mastiff. 

It was larger concluded that of all the transformations that came upon Les Amis de l'ABC, those that happened to Joly and Combeferre were those that carried the highest pedigree. A fellow student whose discipline had been the veterinary arts, identified them as a white Lipizzan and a Neapolitan Mastiff. 

Oddly enough, Feuilly who had been splashed with the same water as Joly, turned into a far smaller type of horse. Had it not been for his own diligent research, they might never have identified his second form as that of a Konik, a hardy Polish horse breed. Upon receiving this identification, the young man immediately professed to feel a great kinship for his animal shape and his friends congratulated him on having had such luck of the draw.

Though speech had deserted Joly and Combeferre, their wits remained. Combeferre immediately took up a loud barking and, understanding that he had not suddenly been struck with apoplexy, Joly too began to stamp out a rhythm on the floorboards. 

Combeferre's new voice thundered through the wine-shop and brought the immediate attention of Courfeyrac and Bahorel, who both reacted with great surprise and confusion upon seeing the two animals. 

It lies beyond the scope of this narrative to go into full details regarding the ingenious means the two rebels employed to communicate their precarious situation to his friends. Nevertheless, a brief mention must be made of the lucky accident that Grantaire's drunken suggestion of trying to splash them with more water was delivered just as the coffee was ready, which led finally to the discovery of how to reverse the transformation.

Since an earlier attempt at understanding what had happened had lead to Lesgle getting splashed with river water, turning him into a toad, the students were growing quite paranoid. Further, Marius Pontmercy's heart-broken roaming around the alleys had led him to land face-down in a puddle (formed not, as the students first thought, of rain water but caused instead by a leaking sewer pipe), transforming him into a very dirty and miserable Pomeranian – the dog, not the people, as Prouvaire explained when he reported the mishap to Enjolras. 

Thus, the news of a way to reverse the transformations were greeted with the greatest rejoicing. The horses might well have their use in the battle, Enjolras said, and Combeferre's teeth looked like frightful weapons indeed. But the risk of someone stepping on their friend Bossuet in the coming battle and ending his life without even acknowledging his sacrifice for the revolution; no, that thought was too horrible to entertain!

Now wise to the dangers of all water that came from the ground, no other members of the ABC group transformed involuntarily, although Feuilly's delayed change of shape caused some momentary confusion regarding the dangers of rainwater. 

Instead, with that adaptability of mind and strong sense of purpose that not even such unsettling events could shake, they carefully collected the dirty water which had transformed Marius. This, they carried in buckets and bowls, whatever they could find, to those windows from which one should be able to splash a soldier attacking the barricade. 

In another part of the town, the trials of Jean Valjean continued. Despite having hidden himself inside, his small family did not escape the water-born curses. 

Seeing how upset young Mlle Cosette was, Toussaint had dared the streets to bring in more water and began preparing a bath for her young charge; a hot soak always improving the disposition, in her opinion. 

Despite her low spirits, Cosette did not wish the old servant to struggle in vain, and so tried to find some good cheer. She was helping to pour the water into the large kettle; a task, the reader should remember which Cosette had mastered at the age of five already. How it came that she suddenly lost control of the bucket and spilled most of the water on herself is inexplicable – one must almost suspect the interference of some malign force. 

The moment the water soaked her, Cosette felt as if her dress rushed up around her and her legs and arms morphed into new forms most unnervingly. She let out a terrified yell which, due to her transformation, this turned into a shrill shriek. This all so scared poor Toussaint, that she dropped her own bucket, the contents splashing over her and triggering another curse. 

The sounds of distress brought Valjean to their door, still wearing the National Guard uniform which he had put on with the intention of inspecting the barricade. When, despite his knocking and calling, he received no legible response, he ran inside.

Alas, the sight his daughter's wet clothes hanging off a stunned egret while a mid-sized cormorant flapped its wings and made a great deal of distressed noise, proved enough to unsettle even Valjean. In his surprise, he did not notice the bucket before his feet until he stumbled on it. Considering the angle of his fall, and the heavy tub before him, it was perhaps lucky that his transformation changed his body size, or Valjean might have suffered a nasty blow to his head.

However, when he climbed out of the half-full tub and in stunned silence looked down at his furred limbs, the last thing on Valjean's mind was to feel gratitude for the transformation. While Cosette and Toussaint, having both been hit by water just gathered from the well, had become birds, Valjean had been doused by liquid which had been delivered by the water-man earlier in the evening. And though he did not recognize it at the time, he had turned into no less exotic creature than a Chinese panda bear. 

Cosette was the only one in the room who recognized the species at once, staring with such fascination at his characteristic black-and-white patterned fur that she did forgot to feel terror at her own transformation. Since this calm did not extend to Toussaint, Valjean made a clumsy attempt to lumber over to the poor woman turned bird and try and settle her nerves. Unused to his new body as he was, it comes perhaps as no surprise that he bumped into the kettle. The small amount of water in it had already grown boiling and splashed over him, triggering his return transformation and causing a great deal of embarrassment and confusion.

Once the chain of causality had been established, and Valjean had reacquired some necessary items of clothing, he wasted no time in returning his daughter and servant to their proper forms.

Elsewhere in Paris, many families suffered through similar shocks that evening. Well-water, river-water, yes, even dirty sewage-water could trigger the curses. 

It is certain that one or two of the small birds or rodents later found deceased in heaps of clothing must have been elderly citizens, whose hearts could not deal with the unsettling transformation. Further, though no person so afflicted ever made a public appearance, there were stubborn rumours of men turning into women, or of one young lady suddenly becoming two identical ladies, as well as other even odder curses. 

What did enter the newspapers and, indeed, became verified through the following trial, was the peculiar transformation of the cut-throat, thief, robber, rapist and all-around murderous scoundrel Montparnasse into a man who – despite no visible changes to his physique – went to the police and mournfully confessed to all his crimes. Before the stunned policeman on duty had finished writing down the descriptions of his victims, Montparnasse continued to describe, in detail, the name, appearance and last known living space of every member of the Patron-Minette robber gang. The mystery repentance was only explained when, two days later, a mishap with a bowl of hot soup turned the young man back into the backstabbing villain that was his natural form. At this point he tried to take back all his confessions and, when words failed, did his best to strangle a careless warden. 

It was decided that, as a special condition of his lifetime imprisonment, the criminal Montparnasse would be given a twice-daily splashing with hot water. In that way, the state would ensure that it only punished the criminal, and not the virtuous man, who would be allowed to appear each Sunday for Mass.

All of this might have been of great interest to Inspector Javert, had he not gone to spy on the barricade and been derailed from his purpose in life by the actions of one Jean Valjean – whose somewhat moist appearance at the barricade might have drawn more interest from the rebel leaders, had they not been busy carrying buckets of cursed water to their barricade. 

Javert was aware of the mysterious way that some of the rebels had learned to turn into horses and dogs. He had even attempted to warn the leader of the soldiers, though he had not been believed (much to their chagrin, one is certain, since that regiment later became known as the Yap-yaps).

Later, released and unsettled at the upheaval of all his old beliefs, Javert had roamed the banks of the Seine. He had avoided being splashed with any sort of water, his well-cared for boots and raised collar protecting him from minor splashes. Now, his eye was caught by the incongruous sight of a dirty bear sitting at the opening of a sewer. There appeared to Javert to be something familiar in the slump of the animal's shoulders and in the tired brown eyes.

Recalling the frantic boiling of water among the revolutionaries, he hurried up to the nearest house, banged the door and, shoving his police identification in the face of the suspicious servant, demanded a bowl of hot water.

To his great surprise the bear was still there when he returned. Javert carefully tipped some water on it. That it transformed into Jean Valjean, or that Valjean insisted that he use the last drops on the soggy tuft of fur which revealed itself to be a young student, was far more expected.

They spoke little when they returned the student to his home. Javert stood a long time outside of Valjean's door, having agreed to let the man put on some decent clothing before arresting him, before he finally turned away and left without a word.

Perhaps he should have considered the odd events of the day before he walked up to the river. Perhaps, a suspicious mind might say, Inspector Javert did not so much wish for death, as to transform himself into another state? It is impossible for us to ascertain his true mindset that evening. This much, however, is certain: Whatever Javert wished to gain by diving head-first into the Seine, he took neither pleasure nor comfort from the change that rippled through him upon entering the water. 

Had he not a few hours later been plucked from his hat, which had floated to shore beneath the Palais de Justice, by a friendly black paw why then he would surely have remained there brooding until the sun dried out his skin and he suffocated.

As it was, Inspector Javert barely escaped death and any bright-eyed citizens of Paris who were around that morning, had the rare opportunity to see a panda carrying an eel and a battered hat make its way towards Rue de l'Homme-Armé.


End file.
